Not As We
by A'isha Ishtar
Summary: In the wake of awful events for Knock Out, the medic accidentally contracts a virus while disposing of a grenade inside Soundwave's Deployer. While the original virus was physically harmless, it's mutated, leaving Knock Out all but powerless. It's up to their sparkmates to think up a cure before the virus takes him offline... or mutates inside Soundwave. KO/OC, SW/OC human x Con
1. Our Solemn Hour

**Okay. Because any semblance of introduction and relationship development BEFORE this that I've done between these guys has been in drabble form (and really, this is the main thing), I do believe a bit of explanation is in order.**

**First of all, this is a deviation-from-canon fic with OC's, and it begins during the episode ****_Triage,_**** and continues on after that with a different plot. (Well, I mean, I suppose Megatron can go on doing what Megatron does... pimp-smacking those who argue, forming a false alliance with MECH, and all.) The plot is pretty much outline in the summary, but... what exactly will happen? Well, that is for you to find out, dear readers, should you choose to accept your mission.**

**Now, for the characters...**

**ALANNA: Alanna Wilson is Knock Out's nurse, which means most of her duties involve either assisting Knock Out with a patient, giving anesthesia and any scheduled medications, or (when he was around) helping Breakdown with whatever he was doing. She's also Knock Out's sparkmate, and it's a match made between the medics from hell. They're both vain and over-the-top, but beneath that there's so much more. They clash and click at the same time, so expect quite a lot of romantic/sexual tension between them. (I'm assuming they also have the most ****_amazing_**** angry sex. Passion is passion, and even if it's not sexual... well, it kind of ends up that way for these two.)**

**JESS: Jess Burne is Knock Out's physician assistant, which - believe it or not - is slightly different from being a nurse. She was aboard the Nemesis before Alanna came into the picture, and why Knock Out decided to start this continuing pattern of adding humans to the medical team is known only to him. She deals with other patients if Knock Out's busy, and can make a diagnosis. She's Soundwave's sparkmate, which makes sense because they both usually have nothing to say to other people, except for the fact that Jess does talk to Knock Out, Alanna, and Soundwave. They balance each other out well, and they're a fair bit more stable than Knock Out and Alanna.**

**LISA: Lisa James was assigned as Breakdown's nurse, because you can never have too many medical personnel aboard a place like the ****_Nemesis_**** where everyone possibly gets damaged after every battle. She was the newest addition, and during the short time she was aboard, she and Breakdown managed to capture each other's heart/spark. Sadly, when Airachnid killed Breakdown, his sparkmate fell into a deep depression and one day snapped - there's a reason people don't yell at ****_Megatron._**** Her death affected Alanna as much as Breakdown's did Knock Out, because they'd become good friends.**

**Okay, well, I guess that's enough info for you to understand what's going on now.**

**Also... I just noticed that an acronym of my title would read "NAW".**

**... Damn. There goes the seriousness.**

**By the way, preemptive apology - some of the direct quotes might be wrong. I'm not anywhere that has fast internet, so I'm going purely on memory. So sorry if I got some wrong. (I think the effect's the same either way, but most of the time I'm not lazy and I transcribe the quotes I need; just forgot to do that earlier, so my bad there.)**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

_Gun shy and quivering_

_Timid without a hand_

_Feign brave with steel intent_

_Little and hardly here..._

_Day one, day one... start over again_

_Step one, step one... with not much making sense_

_Just yet I'm faking it... till I'm pseudo making it_

_From scratch begin again but_

_This time "I" as I, and not as we..._

_Eyes wet towards wide-open, frayed_

_If God's taking bets_

_I pray he wants to lose..._

_~"Not As We", Alanis Morissette_

* * *

It had been a little funny at first, she thought.

Losing Breakdown had been bad enough for Knock Out, as losing Lisa had been for Alanna. But eventually they tried to move on - they still had each other, after all, and now that was all they had. It was funny, how they began to complain about the most vain things they missed in their friends' absence. For Knock Out, it was Breakdown helping him with detailing and buffing; for Alanna, it was Lisa helping her with hairstyles and nail painting. It was almost the same thing, really... and they figured, what were they there for if not to help each other?

So somehow, in the aftermath of tragedy, they managed to hit the pseudo restart button on their lives. They kept going on as normal, with two less people on the medical team. Now their team was down to Knock Out... Alanna... and Jess Burne, Soundwave's sparkmate, who had been there a fair bit before Alanna. And since Jess was usually given patrolling physician duty, helping her "boyfriend" (it had been near six months and she still said that word like a lovesick puppy, but Alanna found it kind of cute... even working for the Decepticons, it hadn't damaged Jess's love for life), the two were often alone.

Alanna knew the feeling of being an outcast just because you weren't pretty; that poor soul trying desperately to improve their appearance, like Knock Out did when he tried to detail by himself... when she was little, that was _her._ And now that she was grown up, she obsessed over keeping herself pretty. Just like he did. She knew it _killed_ him to be marked upon in any way, because when that happened, you weren't beautiful anymore. You were damaged goods.

So she regularly dangled her legs off a ladder, making meticulous strokes across Knock Out's cherry-red finish with a paintbrush that could be mistaken for Barbie's ponytail taped to a toothpick. The can of paint rested in her lap, and she was dutiful not to spill it. She even wore a pair of reading glasses and got so close she could smell the fumes. It paid off, though... Knock Out was the most beautiful thing she'd ever seen besides herself in the mirror. She did it all voluntarily, because assisting him in looking flawless and admirable was a better use of her time than anything else. She never wanted him to feel ugly or inferior... nobody so striking should ever have to feel like anything less than what they were.

As well, Knock Out understood the need to feel perfect. Besides power, the only reason people did nice things for someone else was if they were easy on the optics; he used to be at the bottom of the pyramid when he first became a medic, during those days when he didn't pay so much attention to his finish. A femme who left you for a better-looking mech here... a promotion you were passed over for because you didn't frag your boss there... he'd always been a fast learner, so he learned that he had to change everything he'd once been.

He didn't mind leaning over a microscope to see every part of Alanna's hair so he made sure he did it right; moving his claws very slowly and weaving prettily garish beads or blinding feathers in between strands. She _always_ wanted to feel perfect, and when he did it, he felt like he was helping. Around everyone else, she came off as someone who bragged about being something they weren't - at most, she'd be wearing her lab coat, dark hair tossed up, her tan looking like a result of long hours under a light bulb with too much lotion. But when he was alone with her... when she had a _reason_ to look lovely... well, he was worried if she went out in public like_ that,_ someone would steal her away from him.

After a while, life aboard the _Nemesis_ slowly returned to the monotonous track of normality. Every once in a while either the medic or his nurse would let a mention of Breakdown slip with a frustrated sigh or an offhanded giggle. Often they might not have even noticed they'd been talking about the deceased until the other didn't speak to them - in Knock Out's case - or went stomping into the restroom to cry - in Alanna's case.

But, as with the everyday of a Decepticon life, something had to be there to break up the boring and constant routines. That something was several of the bots going off on loosely-related missions. It included both of the humans' sparkmates, which was cause for worry and shared girl-bonding over the biggest bag of cotton candy Jess could find, one she'd been saving for a special occasion.

Of course, the other 'Cons would never understand femmes, especially human ones. To them it looked like the two women had gone off their respective rockers, though there was clearly _every_ reason in the known universe to worry when their boyfriends came back, each damaged in the most devastating way possible.

Jess was quickly on Soundwave when he returned with Dreadwing, doing all manner of what could only be called parkour stunts to jump up and latch onto the silent mech's shoulder. She was alarmed and frightened at the crack in his faceplate, her hands frenzying all over the plate and yet not even daring to touch the break. Whether for fear of getting shards stuck in her hand or fear of crossing some privacy line, it couldn't be said.

"Oh, does it hurt?" She kissed the very side of it, far away from the crack ad clearly as much as her shaking body could handle at the moment. "You poor thing. I _knew_ I should have come along! Did you get hurt anywhere else?"

**"Should... ****_not-!_**** ... have come along," **he replied, repeating her words back to her, spliced with a clip from a particularly annoyed rant she'd gone on a few weeks ago. **"You...! Hurt. Never again."**

"Aww, Soundwave." She wrapped her arms around his neck as well as a little human could do and scooted herself as close to his faceplate as was possible. She was most flattered that when he was speaking to her, he'd taken to using little else but clips of things she said. "You're too good for me."

A scoff came forward in Starscream's voice, followed by, **"Think again."** He raised a hand before brushing a slender finger against her body, and she could feel a smile through the touch as he repeated her phrase. **"You're too good for me."**

Safe to say, Alanna was concerned now. She was of course happy that Soundwave was alright and that Jess's crushing worry had been alleviated, but... but where was her sexy little Aston Martin? She hated it, the fact that every time he left the ship there was the biggest possibility in the world that he might never come back. It had happened to Breakdown, and that was what caused Lisa's depression and suicidal act of screaming at Megatron that it was all his fault.

_"How could you let this HAPPEN?!"_

_"I loved him and you sent him on a death mission! You knew that bitch would find some way to escape!" _

_"__**YOU KILLED HIM!**__"_

As terrible as it had been watching the aftermath of that, and as much as she missed her friend, Alanna didn't want to end up like Lisa. It was sad what had happened to the normally shy and modest redhead, that her one moment of uncharacteristic outrage had been her undoing, but it was entirely possible that it could happen to anyone who defied Megatron.

For all of her vanity, Alanna acknowledged her own arrogance and tendency to outspeak... if it could happen to someone like Lisa, there was no telling what degree it might reach if it happened to her. There was no real living without your sparkmate, and if Knock Out went offline, being killed after a mouth-off session to Megatron would almost seem like mercy.

There were a million other ways to spend the remainder of your short, miserable existence without the other half of your soul, and all of them would have you begging for the bliss of death long before it came.

"_Can you believe what the Autobots did to me?!_"

Of course, with Knock Out, his vanity rivaled her own; if he was going to die young, he was going to die young and _pretty._ And "pretty" wasn't exactly the word that first came to mind when he came storming through the Vehicons, loudly lamenting the scratched-up state of his precious finish.

"Knock Out!" Feeling like a heavy brick had been lifted off her chest when she laid eyes on him, Alanna rushed forward. Not even Primus _himself_ could have stopped her from running into Knock Out's arms. Er, well, if he'd had his arms outstretched and ready to take her, that is. She didn't care, she just immediately wrapped her arms around his pede, lifting one leg up and pressing herself as close as possible. She couldn't even manage to say anything else.

His comment probably would have been comedic, if they were alone, but Megatron was clearly not taking any bullshit, today or any other day. "Did you retrieve the relic?" he practically roared, taking an intimidating step toward the medic.

Knock Out swallowed and carefully scooped Alanna up in his servo, stroking along her head with one claw - probably in an attempt to protect her should their leader's rage take a sharp detour down the Human Hating Superhighway. "... No, Master."

"You're a mess but I'm glad you're still online!" Alanna chirped, leaping up to grasp onto his claw with her entire body. She dangled there while the conversation continued, kicking her legs and hoping he didn't make any sudden moves. She hung onto him as tightly as she could, and would have been perfectly content to never let go ever again.

The closer Megatron got the more nervous the two became, and now he was so close Knock Out was silently praying for Alanna not to have a spontaneous heart attack. She tended to overreact, especially if she thought she might be in trouble. "Then I suggest," he growled, optics barely even flickering to the squirming human on the end of the medic's digit, "that you, your pathetic mate, and your immature assistant prove your continued usefulness." He finally stepped away, allowing both of them to breathe a mental sigh of relief, and gestured to Soundwave's chest-mounted Deployer. "By examining Laserbeak."

Alanna wriggled off her sparkmate's claw and landed squarely in his servo, where she looked over at Soundwave, as she noticed both Knock Out and Jess were doing. Then they met each other's optics, and she shrugged.

_Man, I wish we were only playing Dr. Sexy and Nurse Hot Stuff. Why in the world does he want us to examine that thing...?_

* * *

**Indeed, they DO play Dr. Sexy and Nurse Hot Stuff on a regular basis. And if I may say, it's quite the... um... experience. There's quite a bit of... sexual healing... going on. P**

**THIS IS JUST THE BEGINNING! I tried my best to make it insightful while still keeping everyone in character. I think it's funny, because if Knock Out even got the vague ****_feeling_**** someone would put a scar on Alanna, he'd scoop her up like he was making an ice cream cone out of her. He'd just be all "No! *hold her away* *slowly* ****_Nooooooo._****"**

**IT WILL GET BETTER, I PROMISE PROMISE PROMISE!**

**Please review, that lets me know how I'm doing and whether you likes it or not.**

**Thanks for reading! ^^**


	2. Army of Angels

**Glad to see you all liked the last chappie! Have to admit, I wasn't expecting more than like 1 or 2 reviews for this thing... BUT AS USUAL MY FAITHFUL READERS PROVE ME WRONG. AHAHAHA I LOVE YOU ALL.**

**I'm trying a way of naming chapters I haven't done before, putting my music on shuffle and naming the chap whatever it lands on. Considering the semi-serious nature of the story... this may have hilarious results. Because I have some pretty wacky songs. So, if that happens... well, you know what they say, forgiveness is divine and all that.**

**I love how Knock Out and Alanna argue. They're all "mad mad mad I hate you let's have sex." XD**

**Like I said, tension can do wonders for the interface life. *points to the chalkboard* The three P's of interface, my students: passion, position, and protection. :) Plus, the three L's: location, location, location.**

**I can totally imagine Knockers walking into their room, and Alanna would be standing there with her robe on, then she'd throw it off and scream, "UNSEX ME HERE!" Because she's so totally insane and spontaneous like that. I just think that idea is... the funniest thing ever, I don't know why.**

**I just adore writing Soundwave and Jess's relationship. They're kinda comfortable with each other in most ways, but in some ways they're annoying - especially to Knock Out and Alanna. You know, there's always that one couple, always holding hands, giggling when they kiss, saying the most mushy and ridiculous things. Their relationship isn't quite as mature as Knock Out and Alanna's, but it's also totally different. I REALLY doubt Sounders and Jess are going to evolve to have any sort of sexual tension... regular tension, maybe. Cuz every couple fights ya know?**

**Anyway! Enough babbling from me. Onto the next chapter!**

* * *

Alanna finally turned to the rest of the group, and Jess deadpanned when she saw that her friend had donned a ridiculous and unnecessary pink surgical mask. And this was in addition to her normal outfit: pink lab coat hiding her rarely-seen assets (well, rarely seen by others; the blonde was sure Knock Out saw them quite often) and pink hat emblazoned with an ironic red cross.

The raven-haired nurse held up a syringe, and pumped it. "Shall we prepare for surgery, Dr. Knock Out? The anesthesia is prepped and ready for injection." A suggestive expression under the mask was implied by the drooping of her eyelids, and evidently she couldn't resist a double entendre medical barb. "As am _I._"

"Shut up!" Knock Out was busy holding his magnetic indicator over Soundwave's chestplates. "Not now, love," he added, in a less rough tone. "I'm concentrating."

A pout was obvious, and Alanna ripped the mask off, crossing her arms over her chest and adopting a nasty expression. "Are your patients more important to you than your sweet piece of ass? _You're always short with me during exams!_"

"That's because the mouth never quits!" Knock Out briefly turned to her. "You think the patient wants to hear your blabbering on and on _AND ON!_"

"_STEVE listens!_"

"Oh! Oh!" He moved the indicator ever so slightly. "Maybe you should just go warm _Steve's_ berth then! Every time I complain, you mention _that_ waste of space!"

"'Cause you don't complain! You _whine_ so much I'm surprised I didn't buy you a freaking cheese platter for our first anniversary! And I don't even know why I'm saying _first,_ since it very well may be _our last!_"

"I don't even understand anything you're saying!"

"Are you as completely _turned on as I am right now?!_"

"_Unbutton your top, glitch!_"

"ENOUGH!" Megatron bellowed. "Knock Out, _your device!_"

"Don't tell me about my... oh. Oh, _that_ dev... yes. Of course." He turned back to the indicator. "Hmm."

Megatron's voice lowered to just an annoyed growl. "What is it?"

Knock Out focused his optics on the indicator, briefly offlining and onlining them. "Some sort of obstruction," he answered, feeling and sounding a bit more tame, if confused.

Jess glanced at her partner. "Soundwave?"

He turned briefly to look at her, then stepped down from the exam table. Laserbeak detached from his chest and landed in his servos. The Deployer's middle section slid open to reveal a long tube, which... oh. Was glowing dangerously and emitting a faintly perceptible, rather high-pitched noise.

Knock Out's optics widened. "_GRENADE!_" He shrieked and dove for cover, throwing his hands over his helm to protect himself from the imminent blast.

Alanna took maybe half a second to notice how cute he was when he was scared, then she screamed and took something else: cover under her desk. "_EVERYONE FOR THEIR DAMN SELVES!_"

Even Jess scrambled off Soundwave's shoulder, though what she planned to do about the fall wasn't clear. Luckily, she was predictable enough that the silent mech was able to to reach out his servo and catch her. She still thrashed around, kicking her legs and shouting hoarsely.

"Ah, that is clever."

Alanna peeked out from under the desk at their leader's amused voice, and Knock Out stopped shaking like a puppy about to be kicked. If their master had no reason to be alarmed, why should they? Clearly they'd just made fools of themselves.

The brunette climbed out from under her desk, offering up a deadpan look, first to Knock Out and then to Megatron and Soundwave. "My fucking _hero,_" she declared, voice dripping with sarcasm as she gestured to her sparkmate. "Look how brave he is. He _rushed_ to protect himself and not his beautiful young bride-to-be."

Jess was busy curling herself up into a ball. "H-Huh?" She looked up at her own sparkmate, raising an eyebrow in confusion. "What now?"

"Knock Out!" Megatron barked, as Soundwave set Jess down. "Prepare to properly dispose of the... obstruction."

Knock Out offlined and onlined his optics quickly, then widened them. _Leader said WHAT?_

* * *

Alanna hopped up onto her desk, looking over at the others, as her sparkmate ran out of the clinic with the "obstruction", shouting nervously the entire time. She could recall he'd never performed well when given deadlines. Or under the pressure of a bomb that may just detonate while he had it in his servos.

Jess had calmed down, after grabbing her datapad and furiously jabbing her datatap onto the screen. She hadn't gone far from her mate, occasionally looking up at him as she obviously recorded this data. She was like Soundwave in that respect; nobody could do anything without her noting it. They both also liked to sneak up on you. Really, they were perfect for each other.

A particularly annoyed glare from her leader prompted Alanna to make a slight "meep" noise, and, though worried about Knock Out, quickly take her place at the computer's screen. Her fingers flew over the keys, bringing up the 3-D holo-globe with the unknown coordinates. They weren't decrypted, so unfortunately the locations where they appeared on the map weren't the _actual_ locations of the relics; they'd learned that out the hard way when the Japanese government ignored their presence.

"Japan," she muttered, highlighting one of the coordinates. "Handwave a couple of giant talking, fighting robots, because _that_ isn't the weirdest thing in their country."

Laserbeak reattached to Soundwave's chestplates, and Jess stepped up onto the lift to do a brief visual assessment of both Deployer and owner. It wouldn't take her long, Alanna was sure of that at least. The blonde was often loud and quick to experiment, but she was also efficient.

"Soundwave!" Megatron barked, catching the attention of all three occupants. When your leader spoke, especially if it was someone like Megatron, you _stopped_ whatever you were doing to listen. Just a fact of their lives. "If we are to maintain any advantage over the Autobots..." He paused, tilting his helm to the side. He was rewarded not a second later, with the sound (and movement) of what seemed to be an explosion, followed by Knock Out's distressed yell.

Alanna winced. _Guess he didn't time it exactly right..._ she thought, not sure whether to laugh or be worried. He'd clearly gone through quite a bit already today, he didn't really deserve a bomb being detonated while he was in that close of proximity to it.

Seemingly satisfied with the aftermath of the grenade, Megatron continued. "... Decoding the remainder of the Iacon database must be your top priority."

Soundwave had been, as always, listening intently, and gave a simple nod of the helm in response to the last statement.

Jess lowered her datapad, sliding the hand holding her tap down to rest on her hip. She didn't take her eyes off Soundwave, as if silently asking his permission while she spoke. "I'll fix the crack in his faceplate, Lord Megatron. Soon as it's functional again, he'll be out of Med Bay and allowed to resume his duties, sir."

He turned and headed to exit the clinic. "See that you get it done quickly, Miss Burne."

"Of course, my lord."

There was no further reply, save for the _whoosh_ of the doors closing behind him. He'd given orders, he was gone, and that was that.

Alanna crossed her arms over her chest. "By the sound of that explosion," she drawled, "I think I'm going to be up to my damn _eyeballs_ with fixing paint jobs around here. So I don't think I can give you any assistance there. Knock Out's gonna be limping back any minute... and he is _not_ going to be happy."

Jess blew out a breath, shaking her head as she put her datapad and tap down. "That's fine. I'd rather do it myself anyway... more practice. But can you grab me the scanner off my desk in the other room? I need to find out whether it was just the surface plate that was damaged, or if it'd been penetrated deeper. If it is, I'm going to be replacing some stuff and doing a little reconnecting."

"Need to know what you're dealing with." She disappeared into the back room with just a swish of her raven hair, but it was barely ten seconds before she returned. "I hope it doesn't take you too long, honestly," she added, handing her friend the scanner. "Lord Megatron'll get totes mad if he has to wait too long for Soundwave to be up and running again."

Jess grinned, turning on the scanner and calibrating it. "Well, that's because Soundwave is a valuable member of the team." She gasp-laughed when the aforementioned Decepticon picked her up and brought her up to his faceplate. "Aww, I love you too." She leaned over and, nearly falling, pressed her lips to the side of his faceplate. "_Mwah!_ Now, let's see what we can do about that faceplate. You must be in a lot of pain."

**"Love you."** If she could see behind the faceplate, she was sure he was smiling. He caressed a slender finger over her blonde hair before lowering her down to the table. **"In... pain."**

"Aw, sweetie, I know." Jess grabbed a pair of gloves and snapped them on, retrieving her datapad and datatap in the process. "But you can handle it, I bet! Who's my strong mech? Who's got the _big guns?_" A suggestive twinkle in her eye told everyone she wasn't just talking about weapons.

Alanna snorted, flopping down lazily into her own chair and sliding down until she was comfortable. "I think you better do as she says, Sound," she commented, letting her hands loll over the arms of the chair. "You disobey her, she'll trick you into saying 'Ahh' just so she can French you."

She slid her pink hat (the so-called _uniform_ was just Knock Out's excuse to see her in a nurse's outfit every day) down off her head and put it on her desk, keeping her hand there. "Speaking of Frenching, by the way..." She rolled her eyes up to the ceiling as she licked the side of her mouth. "Knock Out better get his aft in here super soon or he'll find that I've closed up shop."

* * *

**AHAHAHA I LOVE IT. Any predictions or anything?**

**Alanna: UNSEX ME HERE! *bares it all***

**Me: OH MY GOD! Put on some clothes! That's not for my readers, that's for your sparkmate! *shoves her out of frame***

**A-Anyway, thanks for reading! -^.^-**


	3. Someone Like You

**HAHAHA. I just love writing all these guys. Alanna and Jess are girl-talking and Knock Out's all "Urrrggh, I hate my life" and Soundwave's all "Jess is annoying... but she's mine." XD**

**This is a bit short, but meh. It felt like a good place to stop. Usually I'm crazy with like 2000 words a chapter, this is like 300 short. I was once told that it should be at least 1000 words to qualify as a chapter, and that's the rule I follow. So this is like 1700. A bit short for my normal updates, but it meets my rules so yeah. :D**

**... I'm in love with the way KO and Alanna flirt. All the medical innuendo. |D**

**Hope you all likee! :)**

* * *

"Ow! Oh, stop! For scrap's sake, please!" Knock Out shielded his face the best he could, throwing his claws up and absently batting at his mate with them. "You're hurting me, love," he clarified, turning away and offlining one optic.

Alanna pulled her mask down, briefly holding her rag away and digging her free hand into the little slice of waist above her hip. "Well, you stopped a train with your face," she quipped. "What do you expect it to feel like? A freaking cherry pie?"

She dripped a little more oil onto the cloth and carefully rubbed it across his left bucca, grimacing at the barely suppressed cry the sting of it induced. "I think it's safe to say you're going to be in pain for a while. At least I'm not using the mini-buffer, that would _really_ hurt."

He vented, reaching down to caress her cheek with the tip of his claw. "I know you're trying to be gentle, Alanna... but this is... different." He let his claw fall down, landing across the side of her breast. "It's not... the same kind of pain as when you usually fix me."

"Honey, I wouldn't think it _would_ be." She took the rag away and patted the claw that was against her body. "This is way more damage than you've ever had before. And it's not all just surface damage - some of it goes even deeper. The usual things I'm fixing with you are just superficial, like if I fell off a bike and scraped my elbow. It hurts, but it doesn't draw blood. But this... this shit is the equivalent of me being a klutz and stabbing myself with a screwdriver. You know... all over the fucking place."

"I understand that, I just... I... it's..." He blew some air out, not even watching to see her giggle when it hit her. "It feels deeper than that. Like... Like my tubes are sore, and it's radiating out to every inch of my frame."

"You're probably just tired. You had quite the adventure today." She tossed the rag down onto her surgical tray and began pulling her gloves off. "It's getting late, and the rest of this is too involved. I don't think I can do any more unless you don't want me to sleep tonight. And I _really_ want to sleep tonight."

"Oh, that's alright. You didn't do a bad job." He patted her on the head, before she began to climb down her ladder. "It seems like you got most of it disinfected anyway, so we shouldn't have to really worry about infection. Right now I just need a way to deal with the pain so I can get some recharge."

Alanna grabbed her ladder and folded it up, heading toward the storage room. "Maybe you wanna take a few pain tablets with some energon. Then I say you just sit up for a while, till it's bearable enough for you to get some rest."

Feeling slightly frisky but knowing he wouldn't feel well enough for anything tonight, he reached over and brushed a claw over her behind, grinning when it made her yelp. _Probably shouldn't have done that while she's trying to carry something ten times her weight. Oh well, she holds grudges against everyone but __**me.**_ "Is that your... professional opinion, Nurse Wilson?"

She aimed an awkward back-footed kick at his claw, and he relented. "Yes, it is. And stop trying to grab my ass or you're not getting pity sex. And it really would be a shame, because I'm a sucker for vulnerable guys. Now go take your pills, you crackhead."

He pouted, his audio receptors drooping down. "Fine. I have some patient files I wanted to go over anyway. Being a doctor is a stressful occupation, you know that? So you just think about poor Knock Out over here, working his aft off. I have such a demanding workload - in fact, I may faint. Look at me, Legs, I got your vulnerable right the frag over here. The crushing duress is digging me into an early grave."

"Oh yeah?" came her voice from the storage room. "Well then, it better find a spoon and dig my grave first, because the only way it's beating me to the shovel that'll dig _yours_ is over my dead body."

He chuckled, but instead of arguing with her - as he'd usually do - he simply cycled his vents and took a seat at his computer. "Thank you, Nurse Wilson. I'll go fill that prescription right now."

He heard her scoff as she walked back out. "You're not gonna make some smartass remark? Man..." She gently patted his pede. "You must really be feeling the burn. So... what should I do, hon? You and Jess have everything pretty much covered, I think."

"Jess," Knock out groaned after starting up the computer. "Do you need any help repairing Soundwave's faceplate?"

Jess held out her surgical mask, blinking at her supervisor. She'd just finished cleaning off his screen very thoroughly and had placed the adhesive disc over the crack. "Um, I don't... _think_ so." She inserted her syringe and pulled on it, holding for a few seconds to make sure there weren't any air pockets. After she released it, she fiddled with the glove on that hand. "It didn't go as deep as I thought it had, so none of the liquid diodes need replaced. I just have to inject the resin compound and let it set."

Alanna took down her sloppy ponytail, letting her wavy locks tumble down to have free reign over her head. "Hey Sound?" she called, running her fingers through the dark strands, trying vainly trying to untangle them as she tilted her head every which way. "Can you even see right now?"

**"Can you believe she's blind?"** came a quote from Alanna herself, commenting on some TV show she'd watched with Lisa - a long, almost non-rememberable time ago. **"She certainly doesn't act like it."**

Alanna stifled a snicker at his choice of audio clips. "Okay. So, you can barely see, and yet you faked being able to get around on your own, is that what I'm supposed to get? I make no argument that you're, like... the most badass 'Con on the ship. Remind me never to screw with you."

Jess grinned widely before putting her mask back on her face and loading a dose of resin into her syringe. "Well, he had a little help from yours truly." She pumped the end, injecting the resin into the crack. "You know what they say: behind every great mech, there's an even greater woman."

"A-freaking-men to that, sister." The nurse jammed a finger in the direction of her sparkmate, who was busy typing away. "This one would lose his helm if it wasn't attached. The mech may wear the spike plating in the relationship, but it's the woman who bothers to remember where he left it after last night's frag sesh."

Jess shot an arm into the air without so much as moving her syringe. "Testi_fy!_"

Soundwave would have knocked a claw against her head, if he didn't want to risk a fall or an error with the resin. Instead he just replayed a clip of Alanna scoffing.

Alanna, in turn, giggled. "Sounds like he isn't too happy with you, Jess."

"Oh, I don't care." She removed the syringe, having to wait before applying a second dose of the resin. "He _acts_ all big and mean, but he's just my little teddy bear." She put the syringe down and pressed her lips to the side of his faceplate. "See?"

The silent mech raised one servo, and very carefully curled his slender claws around her, caging her in a loose hug. **"Too good for me. You're too good for me."** His primary claw trailed against her neck, lightly prodding at it. **"Behind every great mech, there's an even greater woman."**

Jess grinned and allowed herself to be slightly controlled. "Look at you, what a sweetie. I love you so much."

**"Love you so much."**

Knock Out groaned, and Alanna was quick to look over, if not quick to walk over. "Honey? You okay?" She was ready to run over, should he need her help.

He hand a servo pressed against his chamfron, and his optics were offline. "I've got a processor ache starting, that's all. I have to go take those pain tablets." He pushed himself up and headed for the storage room. "I'll be right back."

"I'll come with you," she called, already beginning to follow him. "That place is a mess. I've been meaning to clean it up."

"This isn't just some trick to have your way with me, is it?" he joked, though immediately after he winced from another sharp pain.

"Why?" She caught up with him, running her hand suggestively up and down what parts of his leg she could reach. "Do you want it to be?"

"Ugh... not tonight," he muttered, rubbing at his helm. "Maybe when I've had some time to heal."

"Sure thing." She grinned, holding onto his pede and managing to walk on her own. "I love you, baby!"

"Yes," he vented, wanting to offline his optics again, "I love you too."

They disappeared into the storage closet, and Jess straightened herself up, as she'd been leaning back with a hand on her hip to look at them. She reached over and grabbed her syringe and the jar of resin. "Well, Soundwave, it looks like we'll be alone for a few."

**"Alone."** He lifted her up and seemed delighted in the fact that she let out a squeal. Then he brought her close to his chestplates, tools and all, holding her tightly. **"Love you... love you..."**

Jess sighed and settled herself in between his claws. It seemed that her friend wasn't getting lucky tonight, but... maybe _she_ was. One could only hope, after all.

* * *

**INDEED one can only hope. *eyebrow waggle* Are they getting luckeh? MAYBE.**

**Teehee, I'm evil. Maybe it's because I've been watching Scare Tactics all day. :D**

**Well, anyway! I'll see y'all again soon, and I hope you likee'd.**

**Thankies for reading! ^^**


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